Five months ago, the Daughter decided to spread her wings, to expand her horizons and to depend on herself. It was a proud, yet terrifying moment for me, the mommy. And it was something I knew she needed to do. She left with the knowledge that she would ( 1) always have a safe place to land (2) a washer and dryer to do her umpteen loads of laundry and (3) a mom to bring her Taco Cabana.
It was the hardest thing I did, watch this person who I had tucked in every night for 18 years walk out the door for the last time, knowing that on that night, I wouldn’t be tucking her in. I waited until I got home before I BURST into tears. It took me two days to walk into her empty room. I missed her immediately.
To say that the Daughter has had a run of it is an understatement of the highest order. She had a roommate that we thought for all intents and purposes was PERFECT. We later found that she wasn’t. The Daughter made the best of it.
To be fair, there were reasons I will not put on blast (out of respect for the Daughter) for the dissolution of the housing situation two months later. But suffice it to say, neither were completely innocent and both were responsible.
Through all this, the Daughter tried to remain above the hurtful words, the arguments and the accusations leveled at her by people that she had thought were her friends, her friends that she had for years.
It was hard for her to learn that some people were not as she wanted to see them, that they were truly, high school friends and would need to be left in her past. In her high school memories. It broke my heart to see her hurt over the loss of these friends. It made me angry that these “friends” that I had welcomed into my home, into my heart, had turned their back on my daughter in her time of need and instead of asking her side, believed rumors, innuendo and flat out lies.
I tell you this to move forward. To tell those “friends” this…
My daughter, my gorgeous, strong willed, funny daughter will make it. You didn’t break her. In fact, you made her stronger. You gave her strength that she doesn’t even know she has. She won’t, doesn’t, hasn’t needed you. Not now, not in the future.
I firmly believe that this girl, my daughter, she will own the world one day. She has a drive and a fire in her that NOTHING can put out. It seems that the further she gets knocked down, the stronger her resolve is.
The daughter is going to move home. Back with me. She’s gonna start over. She has experienced more hits and pitfalls in 5 months than I did, well, ever. She’s grown and matured. She knows now what she wants and how she is going to get it. Without you.
So to my Daughter, know how very proud I am of you. Of how far you have come. How far you are going to go and I am so grateful that I am along for the ride.
You, my daughter, are a phoenix. You will rise from the ashes and be brilliant.
I adore you. My heart beats for you.