As much as I put out here for your reading pleasure (if you wanna call it that) understand that there are details changed, names omitted and flat out outrageous things said. These are for your entertainment.
But for some reason, I gots a burr in my saddle today and I am downright surly.
It’s all about friendships. either real or imagined.
Friendships for me are like extended family. If I let you into my circle, close or just socially, you are a trusted person to me. I don’t welcome just anyone into my home or my life. I have to warm up to you first. Get to know you a little bit and then, only then, will we laugh and share memories.
In the past six months, I have learned that as strong as I thought some of these friendships were, they were paper thin. And today, it’s pissing me off.
It started a while back. I had a “friend” proclaim their loyalty and unwavering support to me during a breakup. I told them to not take sides, that wasn’t something I or the other party wanted and that if they were friendly, they should remain so. Still, this person, let’s call them Barry, would have taken a bullet for me. At least in that 15 minutes.
So, Barry, loves some drama. Loves causing it, hearing about it, sharing it…I wasn’t usually the target of it, so I would enjoy the stories, sit back, smile and them forget them…
About two months ago, I posted something on Facebook about someone he absolutely detests. That’s ok, they had a business deal go south and although I was friends (closer to the other person – still am!) to both of them, I wasn’t involved, in the middle, taking sides….none of it. Hell, it wasn’t even discussed. It was a harmless joke and he got TWISTED.
He proceeds to e-mail me, blasting me about it and then he deletes me…not a big deal. It’s just Facebook…he’s just upset and well, it is what it is. He took the chosen side of my former partner and that’s ok…I have plenty of friends….don’t really want a friend like that if it’s only on the surface and only because I have a pool…
I say all this because I see him on Facebook, on MY friends pages, commenting on my daughters updates. And today, it’s just irritating the piss out of me. I couldn’t tell you why. It’s not because I was crushed by his deletion…I don’t give it a moment’s pause most days. But it got me to thinking about how many have taken a side.
seriously, I don’t broadcast my private life. I don’t put the ex- on blast out here. Just the opposite, we are still friendly and I wish the ex- no ill will and only good things in the future. We are both in different places and we are both moving forward.
Yet, people who knew NOTHING about the circumstances leading up to the split have weighed in, given their opinion and walked away from me. It would be different if these were lifelong friends of my ex….oh-nooooo, these are folks that came along later…that didn’t know either of us separate. That wouldn’t have BEEN around if it wasn’t for me making the effort…
Crazy. I don’t get it. I am not the type of person that chooses sides, I don’t begrudge anyone from following the path in front of them and if it takes them to someone other than who I am familiar with, then by all means, be happy….but to cast stones when you don’t know ALL the players involved is just crazy.
Don’t think that I haven’t reached out to some of these “former life” friends. I have sent e-mails, made phone calls, stuck the “I miss you” post on their Facebook walls. And I have been deleted by many. I chalk it up to their loss…not mine.
All this sits on me for one reason…I haven’t changed. I am the same person I was 6 months ago…the only thing different is the person I happen to be sharing my life with. (and by the way…she ROCKS!)
But don’t worry….she’s got some great friends that have opened their hearts to me and I have met some folks that are quickly becoming near and dear to me. I am grateful for them.
I guess I let this get to me today for some unknown reason. I have given it way more energy than I should have and truth be told…it’s taking alot of willpower not to reach out, send a shitty e-mail to ALL of them, telling them exactly how it feels. How I hope they are never in this same situation and that I never make them feel as they have made me feel.
whew! ok….pity party over in 3….2….