Your update is passive agressive.

I have decided that Facebook is the easiest way for folks to show off their passive aggressive tendencies under the guise of “It’s MY Facebook.”

Folks use the status line as a place to either start a feud, fuel a feud or just stir shit up. 

Folks, really…

I don’t care about your financial woes.  I gots my own, I just don’t put them out there.  Putting it out there, only makes your friends feel awkward and embarrassed. 

I don’t need to know who you are sleeping with.

Or who you aren’t.

I truly don’t care if you have an issue with the politics at large.  Trust me, you sound like a tool, using your status to write up the sound bite you heard on the radio on the way to work.  If you don’t know more about the issues, then shut up.  Better yet…skip the politics. 

I don’t care if you have gout, gonnarehea or diarrea…keep it to yourself.  I can’t help you and if you have issues, I don’t think you really need to be on Facebook in the first place.

If you have an issue with a loved one, please, don’t put it on blast.  Don’t call them out on Facebook.  Don’t feel the need to air your dirty laundry on the internet for everyone to weigh in on.  I don’t need my own drama.  I really don’t want your drama on my page.

If you have something to say to a friend, then send them a private message.  Or take it a step further, CALL them.  Set up a time to visit and work shit out.  But to put “I am gonna make it, with or without you”  or “People will do the unexpected to show you their true colors.” etc…it’s just stupid.  It makes you feel important.  But in reality…your friends are talking about you behind your back.

I had a couple of friends mess with me a couple of years ago.  On MySpace, they decided to have a “war” with their status updates.  Only on MySpace, if you weren’t friends with both of them, you only saw one side of it…which left your friends going “What the hell is that about?”

Let me tell you what it does to a person who’s friends with both of them…as I sat there reading one, then the other…neither of them responding to phone calls or texts…I sit, reading these things they keep writing and in my head going “Oh.My.God!!!”  Panic attack in 3…2….

Fast forward a week, they both show up at my house for a party and I find they mock broke up to mess with me on MySpace.  So for a week, I sat, with my head in the Land of Confusion, trying to figure out what the hell had happened…yeah…funny now.  But for a week, I was stressed out trying how to uninvite one of them so we didn’t have to set up the mud wrestling in the back yard or pass out helmets for when stuff started to fly…

I am all for free speech.  I am all for differing opinions, it’s what makes the world go ’round.  However, I don’t think our men and women are fighting this war for your silly Facebook/MySpace update. 

These are SOCIAL networking sites.  Use them as such.  Use them to reach many people with updates on your life.  Keep your rashes, sex life and financial woes to yourself. 

I don’t want to read your rants against my religion, my politics, whatever…all it does it make you look like a zealot/idiot/maniac.  And it may get you deleted. 

Don’t fight with your significant other.  Because you can say it, I can read it, you can delete it, but I still know it was there.  And I am gonna tell someone.  We all are.  And we are all going to talk about it.  Trust that.

Work your passive/agressive, your mommy/daddy issues, your needy shit out with your therapist.

I am not paid enough.

It’s Quite Stunning Actually.

Most people who know me know that I will live and die by my faith.  I would never call myself a “religious” person, but I would definitely say I am spiritual.  I know that there is a higher power at work in my life and He doesn’t mess around.  If I question or test Him, rest assured, He will show me who’s boss.

These days, I have several people looking for a “boss” promotion of sorts in my orbit.

I say this because I am been inundated by my Christian “friends” offering everthing from their opinion on my life to saving my eternal soul.  From their view on politics (I am quite the Liberal) to their view on my life…

oh, did I mention they offer their opinion on my life?  didn’t mean to be redundant. actually I did.

Folks, I am gay.  Gay.Gay.Gay.  Get it? 
Folks, I am fluffy.  Have been for twenty years…and I am ok with it.
Folks, I am divorced, I have two mouthy kids.  I love them.  Most.days.

No, you aren’t going to convince me I am wrong, I am broken, I need fixing or I need the Lord.  Simply because:

(1)  I have been wrong before, it’s marked on a calendar and I am SURE Kris (Just Kris) will never let me forget the day I was wrong.

(2)  I am not broken.  I am fluffy.  Fluffy and broken are not the same thing.  As a human, I am damaged.  We all are.  It’s part of the Human Experience.  If you say you aren’t damaged, then you are a cyborg and well, now I’m scared.

(3)  I don’t need to be fixed.  I like me.  Flaws and all.  It makes me who I am, my history.  I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t been there.

(4)  I would GUARANTEE you that I have the Lord in my life.  That I have my faith, securely next to me, on me, within me.  I walk WITH Him, IN His shadow and FOR Him.  Rest assured, any time I NEED Him, I call on Him and He is right there.  My faith cup runneth over and that is truly the best explanation I have.

What I need from these “friends” is to lighten up.  To have a sense of humor about this Human Condition.  Life is meant to be lived, to be experienced, not fought over.  Not something you can look at and say “it would only be better if that person would join the circus/Army/Republican Party. 

Folks….my friends are my friends unconditionally.  You don’t have to like all my friends, it makes parties easier, but you truly don’t have to be friends with Bob or MaryBeth.  But at my house, you should really try to be pleasant.  You don’t care to socialize with them outside of a pool party at mi casa…great…but leave me out of the middle of your drama.  Cause I will be friends with who I choose to.  Not who you choose for me.  mmmkay?

Folks, you don’t have to like my politics.  They are mine.  I don’t post my political leanings on my Facebook status update (that’s what this here blog is for!) and I am really sorry if you don’t like the President…I didn’t really like the last one.

Folks, gay. Me.  Again, we will go over the “Stephanie is Gay Lesson.”  No, I don’t believe I was born this way.  I CHOSE to be this way.  Shock!!!!  It’s no  more shocking to be born gay than straight.  I prefer when asked “Were you born gay?” To answer with  “No, I was born a girl.  The gay came later.”

Yes, I chose to love a girl.  I had tried the boy route and well, it just didn’t work for me.  My Girl, she fits.  She works in my life and I work in hers.  She gets me.  I choose to love her with all my might.  I choose to be WITH her.  

So, in the end, God gave me free choice, right?  Then I guess that means my free choice is to love her.  Guess it’s my free choice to let my kids make their own decisions (as long as I agree with them!!!) and I guess it’s my free choice to eat ice cream for dinner.

My mom came out when I was 11.  I remember the night she told me.  It was Christmas Eve, 1981; I wanted to go to Christmas Eve Services.  I had gone for as long as I could remember.  I asked if we were going and was told “no.”  I asked why and I was told “I go to a different kind of church now.”  My look must have said something, because my mom looked me in the eye, stopped what she was doing and said “Stephanie, I am gay.  Do you know what that means?”  I replied “Nope.”  She further said, “I choose to love a girl instead of a boy.  That’s all.  Understand?”  I looked at my mom, I looked at “Mo” and I asked “Are you nice to each other?”  And Mo looked at my mom and said “Yes, we love each other and are nice to each other.”  And my final words on the subject….”Then OKAY….can we please go to church??!?!”

It was my first experience at Metropolitan Community Churches and anything remotely gay.  What I remember are these people were happy to see each other, to laugh with each other, there was lots of hugging, lots of smiles and lots of hand holding.  What is NOT to embrace about that? 

I have found unconditional love and acceptance from people that find it with no others.  And looking back, it reminds me of the unconditional love and acceptance of another group of people…


Remember when you were a kid, it didn’t matter what color, nationality, sexual orientation or social class you were in.  If you had a bike or a Barbie, you were my friend. 

We could play allllll day and not once have any economic, politcal or social situations come up.  I loved, loved, loved my friends.  I shared everything from dolls and koolaid to gum and chicken pox.  We were so blissfully unaware of any differences in each of us.  Other than the fact that boys had cooties, which, now, plays into my lifestyle, but I digress.

If you had a red Radio Flyer wagon, I didn’t care if you were blue or had four heads…you had a damn wagon…that rocked.  I didn’t care if Scotty wanted to play with my Barbies, because damnit, I had someone to laugh with, to enjoy my youth with.  Those days, now seem magical.

I wouldn’t trade a moment of it. 

So, I saw this today and decided to finish this entry and thanks to my friend Ronnie, I found the PERFECT video…

(editor’s note:  they have since marked the original video private, so a YouTube member put this up instead, however LISTEN to the child’s logic.)

There are times when you shouldn’t ask for clarification.

There are times, when it’s just better to NOT know what was said, to go along with what you THINK you heard.  This would be one of those times.

Today was a Monday.  For most, a typical Monday.  I don’t do Mondays well.  At.All. 

Today seemed to be the mother of all Mondays.  It was off to a good start.   Suprisingly.  But by lunchtime, I was plotting to overthrow the powers that be and ban Mondays.  So by the end of the day, stick a fork in me Chuck, I was done.

So I walk in the door, Kris (Just Kris) and I decided that we were gonna go get pampered.  Manis and Pedis all around. 

As I sat there, one person working on my hands, one on my feet, another grooming my eyebrows…I glanced over to see Kris (JK) getting the same treatment, sans eyebrow treatment.  This is when I should have just not asked for any clarification…

Kris(Just Kris): “mumble, mumble, mumble -ve you.”

Me:  “What?”

K(JK):  “mumble, mumble, mumble -ve you.”

Me:  “awww, I love you.”

K(JK):  “I love you too, but what I said was “Check out the view.”

Me:  *crickets*

I look down to see the pedicure technician is bent over her toesies and her shirt is , ahem, adjusted to show us her pretty bra.  Yep.  Leave it to the lesbians to get a peep show at the nail salon.  Had I not asked for clarification…I would have just been loved.

Good times.