In the past couple of weeks, I have had a couple of people tell me that I have changed. It got me to thinking…
One said it out of love and concern…thank you. I love you back.
The other said it from a place of control and hurt…you aren’t missed yet.
Both read this, they can figure out which is which. (hint: check the comments, because a certain one will not be able to control their need for the last word. trust me.)
I have changed. Quite a bit. Especially in the past 8 months.
I have found that to be happy, doesn’t mean I have to take care of everyone else around me. See, that’s a character flaw in me. I am a fixer. Typically that means, I will try to fix everyone and everything else around me so I don’t have to look too hard at my own issues.
Now, I look directly to me first. I get to make my own priorities and make my own decisions. Based on what I think I need to do.
This typically revolves around my kids, my Girl and myself. If it’s good for us, then I will move forward. If I find at any turn it’s not going to work in our favor, then I cut my losses.
This includes and excludes aLOT of stuff. People, places, things, you know…the crap that doesn’t work.
In doing this, I have found who my true friends are. I have found what is important to me. I have found what is vital and paramount to me and mine.
Let no one think for one moment that I haven’t changed. Instead of putting any bullshit before my kids, before me, before my Girl…I put us first.
Well, after my faith, which isn’t exactly what I call a “priority”….I call it essential and it’s like oxygen. I can’t do anything without my faith. Ican’t put anything else first without it.
I love my friends, they are truly my family. (You know WHO you are!) And I look forward to blending the Girl’s friends which I am quickly falling for with my friends…I can’t wait to see the new directions that all these egos (to know them is to love them) take me.
I have found me.
I love that.