Thought I would write, since we can’t talk, to catch up a little bit on what’s been going on in my world. Let you know I am okay and that I think of you often.
I won’t say it’s been easy. I won’t say that I haven’t been angry. I will say that it’s been worth the lessons I have had to learn, the strength I have found in me. The loss of you in my life has been profound. There’s an empty spot that will never be filled and there are times, that spot, hurts to such a level, I can’t breathe.
But on a daily basis. I am great. The family is amazing. Mom and the sister and I have all learned to love each other, through our faults, through our bizarre OCD tendencies and there is a level of love and respect that you would be proud of.
The daughter would take your breath away. She’s beautiful, courageous, mouthy and just like me. (Quit rolling your eyes!) The son is growing in to such a young man. They are both so tall already. I am proud to my core. They both talk about you and miss you. I love hearing the stories about you from a child’s perspective. You were the coolest.
You know already how my life has changed. You have watched it. I gotta tell you, if you knew my Girl, you would really love her. You would love how she lights up my life and how she makes me shine. You would be blown away at the respect she shows the kids, the mother, the sister…and the depth of her love of all of us. Especially me. You would smile at the laughter she puts in my life. And she would love you…
We are getting married. Yes, married. I wish you were here, to witness it. To be with me on that special day. Standing next to me.
Oh, how I miss you. There are times that tears burn my eyes and my emotions choke me. It’s been too long and there are times I go to pick up the phone, to call, to hear your voice….and I know I can’t. And in those moments, it rips my heart open.
Yes, it’s been a while. A long while. 13 years today, to be exact.
I miss you, dad.