The rules of driving, Texas-style.

So, as most know, I am bossy.  I have rules that must be followed.  They aren’t hard; more common sense than anything, you know, like don’t walk and chew gum if you can’t multi-task….that kinda thing.

I guess it goes to show that there must also be rules for driving.  Seriously, am I the ONLY person that went to driver’s ed?  Did everyone else get their license outta the gumball machine?!?!??!!  Cause it’s not easy…

I submit, the Rules of Driving, Texas-Style:

  • It’s a car.  Therefore, when it hits something else, it will cause damage.  Think of it as a rolling battering ram.
  • First and foremost, folks, put the fucking cell phone down.  You should not be texting, facebooking, making reservations or cropping your latest profile picture behind the wheel of the car.  Especially while anywhere near me on any stretch of road.
  • Eating soup is not conducive to safe driving.
  • If a large black SUV is hauling ass up behind you, do not slow down to a crawl….I will pass you, give you stink eye and slow down in front of you.
  • Lady….there’s not enough makeup to help….and the lighting in the rearview mirror sucks….eyes on the road please.
  • It’s rain.  If you can’t drive on the dry roads, park the car on overcast days and take the bus.
  • Alternately, in the winter, there is this stuff on the road, called ice.  It’s frozen rain.  See above.
  • Hanging your shirt out the window is a really odd alternative to WASHING it.  I understand there are “degrees” of clean, but if your shirt smells THAT bad….buy some Tide and give it a shot.
  • Turn that shit down.  If  I wanted to hear you singing, I would buy your CD….oh, don’t have a recording contract….?  There’s probably a reason.
  • I can see you picking your nose.  That’s not a booger….that’s brain matter….stop when you feel resistance.
  • If you are gonna fight with your passenger or person on the phone, roll down the window, we all want to hear.
  • And dude….whatEVER you were doing….it looked WAY worse in my rearview mirror.  And if that is what you were doing….ewwww….get a room!

I do alot of driving nowadays….my commute is over 30 minutes.  Most of the time, I turn on Russ Martin and just drive….but I get lucky every now and then and get to see some truly weird shit…

  • The Nutter Butter car….which made me hungry.
  • Bozo the Clown driving a Volvo.  Awesome!
  • The wife’s ex-Beast’s twin sister, which almost caused me to wreck my car….but I realized this chick was skinnier…
  • The smallest woman ever to drive.  Seriously, she had to be sitting on three phone books….and it was a Rio….so cute!
  • An 18 wheeler decked out like Optimus Prime….paint job and chromed out….it was AWESOME!!! Had I not been going 75 mph….I would have taken a photo….that awesome.
  • The guy with the Jason mask hanging from his rearview mirror last Halloween….yup…even I changed lanes.

I am east bound and down…loaded up and trucking…

I Remember.

(I wrote the blog below 4 years ago…I hurt today for so many reasons.  I honor memories of loved ones lost.  I honor the fortitude of those that don’t let today break them, that stand up and fight back…to show the world that we are stronger than they think. 

I honor my dad, who would be 70 today and dream of what my life would be like if he were still here…)

September 10, 2007 – Monday

Tomorrow I am going to be reminded of a horrible event, something that I still cannot get my mind around.

The attack on the Twin Towers.  I was on my way to work at Wyndham when I heard about it on the radio.  I got to the office to see dozens of people in the halls, staring at the televisions.

In my small vision, I made my way through the maze of people and got to my office, to find Ed and Darren wheeling televisions into the learning annexes.  There were people crowding into cubicles to see the jammed internet for any information.

I followed Ed & Darren to the annex, and to my shock and horror, I saw the fire, I saw the smoke….I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  I must have made a noise, because Darren grabbed my hand and just held it.  Ed put his arm around my shoulder.  As I stood there, I watched one, then two marvels of modern architecture crumble to the ground.  I realized I was crying.  For all those people, and I was praying it was quick and they were already on their way to their final spot.

As I sit here, 6 years later, on the eve of the most shocking event in my lifetime, I lift up these survivors, these heroes, these families that lost loved ones.  I lift them up with a sadness in my heart that I am incapable of explaining.  By the grace of God, I knew no one that was hurt or killed.  But my unshakable belief in the goodness in all people was ripped away.

As I sit here, 6 years later, I wonder why we are in Iraq.  I want someone to explain to me why we are fighting this war, my generation’s Vietnam, because it sure isn’t about September 11th.

We are not honoring the men and women who lost their lives by sending our men and women to fight a war that should have never been started.  These are mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, that are risking their lives day in and day out, someone just tell them the truth, tell them why they are doing so, give them the respect of that.

I lift up these families, these men and women, who have and have not survived, risking their own lives to preserve my freedom.  To make sure the war doesn’t come to my backyard.  To protect my children.  They will never know my name, or my face, yet they will risk everything to honor their country.  It’s time we honor them.

And in the twilight of tomorrow, I will remember one more thing….

It was my dad’s birthday.  He would have been 66.  I cherish my memories of him.  It hurts now to think of him, to miss him so much that my heart aches.  I am so glad he is in a better place than this.  That I don’t have to worry about him, about getting that phone call anymore.  He is at  peace.

Doesn’t help me right now.  I want him here.  I want him to make sense of it all for me, like he did when I was four.  When he was the biggest hero of them all, he could do everything.

Happy Birthday Sam Gary Tullos.  I love you.  I miss you.

Godspeed to you all.

Republican, stupidity, tomato, tahmato….

From my archive and with her “reminder” today, I only find it fitting that I break out an oldie, but goodie.

Freedom of speech does not mean, get out there, show your ass and fill the world with your hateful and hurtful rhetoric…

Suck eggs Sally Kern, suck eggs…

 

March 10, 2008 – Monday

Current mood: pissed off

 

Meet Sally Kern, one peach of a Republican…..

kern.jpg

This woman is a STATE REPRESENTATIVE for Oklahoma.  While I agree that she has every right to hate me and others like me and to voice her opinion, I don’t for one moment believe that she deserves the right to speak out in a manner such as this and be a “representative” of a collective whole of people who chances are, do not feel as she does.

Sally Kern ranting about gays.

If you know anything about me, I am not a politically forward person for the most part, I am getting more so, paying attention more, so below is the e-mail I sent to Sally Kern just now.  While I was good and pissed.

___________________________________________________________

Ms. Kern,

You are not my state representative, however, I am shocked and saddened by your speech.  You may not have wanted everyone to hear it, but I am shocked that you wanted anyone to hear it.  You should be embarassed and ashamed of yourself.  I sincerely doubt that you are.  That saddens me too.

Apparently, I am trying to convert toddlers (gotta get that toaster oven), I am much more dangerous than any terrorist and that I am diseased.

Well, “Ms.” Kern, you are who I think is more dangerous, your words are more powerful than mine.  You are the one I think is diseased, your heart is filled with hate for people you will never know.  I feel sad for you.

I feel sad that school teachers struggle day in and day out to teach our children to be intelligent and strong and you single handedly set them back.  Why do they spend their time teaching these children to be fair and respectful and you can’t muster the same?  You should be ashamed!

I am sad that you stereotype people in Oklahoma.  I know people in Oklahoma and transplanted from Oklahoma.  They are dear sweet people without an ounce of this hate in them.  You do not represent the Oklahoma they are proud to call home.  Not with this speech.

I am sad that you Ms. Kern, don’t know me and yet wouldn’t care to get to know me because I love a girl.   Your loss, not mine.  Definitely not mine.

Lastly, I am sad at how many THOUSANDS of US soldiers over the decades have lost their lives to protect your ignorant, hate filled free speech.

And by the way, Ms. Kern…..there have been gays around the ol’ USofA for SEVERAL decades……’bout as long as Republicans.

Thank you, for showing me EXACTLY why I vote Democrat.

Sincerely,

____________________________________________________________

Oklahoma representative Sally Kern refused to apologize for her disgusting statements this past weekend.

Instead, she defended her hateful words.

So….

If YOU wanna let good ol’ Sally know how you feel, we suggest you get in touch with her!

Ms. Kern’s contact information:

Capitol Address:
2300 N. Lincoln Blvd. Room 332
Oklahoma City, OK 73105
(405) 557-7348.

District Address:
2713 Sterling Ave.,
Oklahoma City, OK 73127.

Email: sallykern@okhouse.gov

or

srkern@cox.net