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I Remember.

(I wrote the blog below 4 years ago…I hurt today for so many reasons.  I honor memories of loved ones lost.  I honor the fortitude of those that don’t let today break them, that stand up and fight back…to show the world that we are stronger than they think. 

I honor my dad, who would be 70 today and dream of what my life would be like if he were still here…)

September 10, 2007 – Monday

Tomorrow I am going to be reminded of a horrible event, something that I still cannot get my mind around.

The attack on the Twin Towers.  I was on my way to work at Wyndham when I heard about it on the radio.  I got to the office to see dozens of people in the halls, staring at the televisions.

In my small vision, I made my way through the maze of people and got to my office, to find Ed and Darren wheeling televisions into the learning annexes.  There were people crowding into cubicles to see the jammed internet for any information.

I followed Ed & Darren to the annex, and to my shock and horror, I saw the fire, I saw the smoke….I felt like I couldn’t breathe.  I must have made a noise, because Darren grabbed my hand and just held it.  Ed put his arm around my shoulder.  As I stood there, I watched one, then two marvels of modern architecture crumble to the ground.  I realized I was crying.  For all those people, and I was praying it was quick and they were already on their way to their final spot.

As I sit here, 6 years later, on the eve of the most shocking event in my lifetime, I lift up these survivors, these heroes, these families that lost loved ones.  I lift them up with a sadness in my heart that I am incapable of explaining.  By the grace of God, I knew no one that was hurt or killed.  But my unshakable belief in the goodness in all people was ripped away.

As I sit here, 6 years later, I wonder why we are in Iraq.  I want someone to explain to me why we are fighting this war, my generation’s Vietnam, because it sure isn’t about September 11th.

We are not honoring the men and women who lost their lives by sending our men and women to fight a war that should have never been started.  These are mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, that are risking their lives day in and day out, someone just tell them the truth, tell them why they are doing so, give them the respect of that.

I lift up these families, these men and women, who have and have not survived, risking their own lives to preserve my freedom.  To make sure the war doesn’t come to my backyard.  To protect my children.  They will never know my name, or my face, yet they will risk everything to honor their country.  It’s time we honor them.

And in the twilight of tomorrow, I will remember one more thing….

It was my dad’s birthday.  He would have been 66.  I cherish my memories of him.  It hurts now to think of him, to miss him so much that my heart aches.  I am so glad he is in a better place than this.  That I don’t have to worry about him, about getting that phone call anymore.  He is at  peace.

Doesn’t help me right now.  I want him here.  I want him to make sense of it all for me, like he did when I was four.  When he was the biggest hero of them all, he could do everything.

Happy Birthday Sam Gary Tullos.  I love you.  I miss you.

Godspeed to you all.

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