It’s that time of year…summer. Kids wait for it all year, parents count the days until the next school year starts…so, in quiet sister/brotherhood of all parents, I submit the following rules…
(1) Yes, you can stay home. By yourself. No, I can’t take the summer off. I have to work, sorta, to pay for your summer entertainment. You will need to appreciate this time in your life….when you grow up, you too, will have to work…buckle up.
(2) No, I cannot create magnificent dishes for you to enjoy while I am working. There is Nutella and Mac & Cheese….feel free to enjoy both.
(3) Yes, you will have chores.
(4) Yes, I understand you are on vacation….let’s consider this a “stay-cation” and pick up your room. If I find anything on the floor, I will hold it hostage until the school year starts.
(5) No, 7:00 AM is not a bedtime.
(6) Yes, you will have a curfew. And chores, did I mention chores?
(7) If you use every single towel in one afternoon of pool fun, you will wash, dry and fold said towels before midnight. And suffer the wrath of Mommy Who Does the Laundry.
(8) Do not call Mommy allllllll day long at work. I have a job, you are eating Nutella….shut up and appreciate your childhood.
(9) Do not sit in front of your Xbox all day and when I walk through the door expect me to feed you immediately, see #8 and enjoy.
(10) Every once in a while, get up from said Xbox and stretch. If you spend the summer hunched over a gaming console, you will look like the only freshman Quasimodo. Go outside, get some fresh air.
(11) Putting the fan in front of the window does not constitute fresh air.
(12) You will need to do the following on a daily basis:
Brush you teeth.
Put on clean clothes.
(13) I am sure, your horrible teachers will give you summer homework. It’s their summer “fun”. We’re adults, we can do so… Suck it up, you will do this homework and read, so I do not have to send you to Pre-K before your freshmen year starts. Nor will you wait until the night before school starts to cram it all in.
(14) Do not EVER tell me you are bored. You have Xbox, Wii, 800 cable channels, a pool, a bike, friends in the neighborhood and a park with a basketball court at the end of the street. Telling me you are bored will get you more chores, such as cleaning baseboards and toilets. Take your chances if you feel lucky.
(15) Have fun, stay safe. We are proud of you….
Parents, I will pray for all of us this summer. And it’s only 90 days or so until the next school year. I am already planning a day off once school starts to recover, count.on.that!!!!