My kids have two mommies.
It’s okay…I acknowledge it isn’t for everyone, but it’s perfect for us. I am bio-mom. I carried these two bundles of joy, I shared a heartbeat with each of them. I’ve loved each of them 9 months longer than anyone else ever will. I have made my share of mistakes, I have made your share, my neighbors share, my 3rd cousin twice removed’s share….I have screwed it up more than I care to think about, but I own it.
These two are of me, they look like me, act like me, sound like me.
I have taught them the truth may hurt, but everyone is WORTH the truth.
I have taught them that even though they are head and shoulders taller than me, I can still put them in their place.
I have taught them to respect themselves, because in life, many others won’t.
I have taught them that yes, adults do suck sometimes, and even the ones that say they love you and won’t leave, do. It’s not their fault, it’s on the other person. They aren’t to give them any energy.
I have taught them unconditional love. Period. No excuses, no reason. Love is love….and there is always room for more of it.
I have taught them that I will walk through fire for them. I love them to my very core and there isn’t anything they can do to change that.
Then I gave them the Wife. And it’s changed our lives, all of us. I have known her for 30 years, we have been a family for 4 years…it gets better every day.
I once asked the wife why she loved them so much, her answer was simple, “In the beginning, I loved them because I love you and I see how much you love them…how do you not love someone so much? Now, I love them because we have our own relationships, we have our own things…they are as much mine.” She’s the goods.
She hasn’t “thanked” me yet for these relationships, but she hasn’t run for the hills either.
So everyone understands, my kids have two mommies. It’s okay.
I had a conversation with the sister today that made me think about what actually constitutes a family. See, I had two mommies, no…not in THAT way, I had my bio-mom and my step-mom. Everyone should have a step-parent like mine. She never felt like a step-parent and she never treated me like less. I love her everyday and think of her often. She left my life after the divorce, but in my heart, she left me with a sister, a brother and a 2nd mommy that I will always love and lessons I will never forget.
In today’s society, there are so many single parents, by choice, by death, by separation, the list goes on and on…here’s my take on it….
there are so many that need love, need guidance, need structure and support…why shut folks down? Because of their sexuality? Seems short-sighted and petty. Maybe that’s just me.
My kids got/get asked all the time “your mom is gay???” and both without missing a beat, without hesitation, “yes.” Simple and true.
Yes, they have been picked on. But I’ll let you in on a secret; kids pick on kids, regardless of whether or not mommy is a fag. All kinds of reasons….
- Mommy is fat. (it’s okay, I am)
- Mommy isn’t blonde. (tried it once, not pretty)
- Mommy isn’t a stay at home mommy. (Bossman would cry)
- The daughter’s hair was too short.
- The boy’s hair was too long.
- We didn’t live in the right part of the neighborhood.
- We didn’t have a hot tub.
Kids learn what we teach them. These two have learned there are lots of different ways to love others, that it’s okay to have one parent, or two, or two mommies, daddies, step parents, foster, adopted, whatever…they have learned family isn’t always genetic.
Sometimes, the right one walks in the door. This person will take away the hurt and replace it with love and honor. This person will show a child it’s okay to trust, to love someone who isn’t “the norm.”
Besides, my definition of normal is way different from yours. Example, I think it’s completely normal to have 7 pairs of the same shoe in different colors or the same purse in 4 different colors.
What? not normal?