Home » Funny Folks. » Simple Math and Other Stupidity.

Simple Math and Other Stupidity.

Correct me if I am wrong…

A circle is 360 degrees, right? So to go to the opposite side is 180 degrees, right? SOOOO….to be the opposite of where you are, you need to go 180 degrees, right? Following that logic, if a person wants to drastically change, to be the opposite of what they are, they need to only go 180 degrees….or am I insane?

If a person tells me, “oh, she’s changed, she’s not a total bitch any longer, she’s done a 360!!!”  Doesn’t that mean the bitch is just an overachiever and she’s back to being a total bitch?  Because to be the complete opposite of a bitch, one would only need to go to the OPPOSITE extreme, or the opposite side of the circle, right?  So that’s just 180 degrees….to go 360 degrees, she’s just decided being bitchy was more fun and she’s come all the way back around…this makes me crazy…

Am I the only one in this boat?

*******************************************

So, I get asked a lot of questions…some make me ponder my own sanity….some make me ponder others…for example:

*Are you busy?   No….never.  I have been sitting here, waiting for you to come ask me that question.

*Do your kids have the same father?  I believe so, but I’m not sure about their mother…

*Why do you drive so far for your job? Because Bossman worships me and I don’t do anything.  See first stupid question.

*You’re gay?  Nope.  Not at all.

*******************************************

I get random e-mails that my spam doesn’t seem to catch.  Apparently:

*I am eligible for my AARP card.  Allllll the time.

*I am also eligible to sign up for OurTime.com…the older people dating website.  Because I’m over 60.

*I am in need of Viagra.  Who knew?

*There are no less than 15 prospective employers looking for me on some job website.  And they want to pay me top dollar.

*There are also singles in my area, right now waiting to hear from me.

Methinks I need to update my spam rules….ugh.  I need  shower.

*******************************************

A few admissions…

*Yes, I watch the Bachelor and the Bachelorette.  Yes, I do.  And amazingly, my bestie will call or text me during every episode.  Which I find hysterical…and is also the reason I TIVo them.  Don’t judge me.

*I will stay up during the week until midnight, at the earliest, by Friday, I am in bed by 8:30…9:00 at the latest.

*I love my washer and dryer and one of my favorite chores is laundry.  Just don’t tell my wife.

*I am a complete Mrs. Kravitz and not by choice.  Folks will tell me anything, whether I ask or not.

*I completely detest only one person in the world and it’s not the Respondent.  And I wish a sturdy STD on this person.  Something itchy.  She’s a complete beast.  I ask for forgiveness every day for this.  Every.day.

*I am way smarter than most give me credit for and have a very attuned intuition.  Trust me, I know more than you think I do and I probably see more than you want me to.  Most people underestimate me.  And they shouldn’t.

*I have decided that as nice as I want to be, I want to be a doormat less.  I committed this year to reaching out to people when I thought of them and for 5 months, I have done this…however, I have not had the favor returned…I don’t like how it makes me feel and it’s led me to reevaluate lots of relationships.  This has made me infinitely sad and at times, feel really lonely.

*Someday, I will tell the people who made me feel like this exactly how I feel.  It will probably be an email…simply because I will not waste the energy on those that mean that little to me.  They aren’t worth it.  I just don’t want to deal with the drama just yet.  I mean, we’re lesbians, of course it’s drama…

G’night, sweet dreams…embrace the stupid…it will get you through the day…find the funny.  Even in the stupid.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s