Folks tell me, or us, often that we are “so cute” in love…they ask what our secret is…
I’m gonna tell you, it takes work. A lot of work. And as long as both parties are doing the work, it…works. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not the easiest person to love, hell, to even like..but I own my faults and do my best to be a better person; to be a person worthy of that love. Some days I am, some days I prolly fall short.
I read lots of articles about how to sustain a relationship or how to tell if they are the right one, the wrong one or if they are a psychopath. I’ve pondered on my own blog here how do you know if it’s The One. Or someone else’s One…
…it’s a lot to ponder.
So I decided to come up with a few hints that may or may not help you in your quest to find, keep or run from One.
- Never stop flirting with each other. I’m the first to admit that I can take everything to a diiiirty level. It’s a gift. And I love when she leers at me, winks or gives up some innuendo. There’s a rush to it and it is a small moment that should be light hearted and fun.
- Always let the other feel like the center of your world. This is harder. Especially when you have kids. Part of a parents “id” is that children come first. In a sense, yes, because they need to be taught, to be supported and to be provided for…but here’s the rub….you have to make your other half be important because they are your partner, they are the ones right next to you. They will be the one to support you, protect you and provide for you…you have to return that favor. Before you can make anyone else important, you have to put each other first. You are a team. Never forget that.
- Take time, each day…to be with each other. My favorite time of the day is the end…when we shut down and slow down and just be in the same space…to talk and for us, laugh.
- Which brings me to my next hint. Laugh. A lot. Often. This woman makes me laugh to my toes. It is essential to our relationship that we can laugh together and at each other.
- Understand that you will have bad days and respect that the other will as well. Stay centered. Stay loving. Be there to listen and offer love, jokes and vodka.
- Sometimes you will lead, sometimes you will need to follow…always walk beside each other.
- Never take them for granted. This person puts up with you and all your “issues”…you need to appreciate that level of naïveté and embrace it. Don’t use it up, appreciate it.
- Honesty. It’s necessary. If you can’t be honest about everything then you haven’t found your One.
I will give you a few hints that, if you come across them…run.like.hell.
- They choose to not meet you halfway. To let you do all the heavy lifting and allowing you to shoulder all the stress. This won’t change.
- If they try to create a divide amongst you and family, children or friends. These people are your support system…they will be there when ou run away from this shit head.
- If they can’t commit. This should be a no-brainer. Yes, the chase is fun…yes, it seems worth it. It’s not. Too much chasing, you just get tired.
- If they join Match.com or Yahoo Dating or basically any dating website while you are together….this is a dick move and just a shitty thing to do (side eye at the Beast, because she did this).
- Bathing. Yes, it’s a necessity. Yes, there are those that don’t. There is no reason to date funky.
- Alternatively, don’t date someone that you don’t see the “real” person. It goes back to honesty and if they aren’t showing you behind the curtain…there’s some issues. Run.
- If they want to spend alllll your money. Back to the work thing. I dated a person who wanted to work part time and be a “stay at home” mommy. To my kids. Only this meant they wanted to work 20 hours a week and then come home and play video games. Yeah….dick move.
Moral of the story….the story of “us”….love, laugh, share, enjoy. Remember respect, honesty and faith. It will work.
Here’s to your One….May that be as wonderful as mine. May your life be as blissful as ours.