Festive Dialogue. 

I love the holidays.  That isn’t a huge secret.  I’m not ashamed to admit it.  It starts with Halloween and finds it stride with Thanksgiving, then hits its peak with Christmas…

The wife and I have acquired a lot of Nutcrackers during our relationship. A lot. {insert favorite lesbian joke}  It just started a couple of years ago.  I guess if we won’t have children and she won’t give me a puppy…I will take little wooden men dressed in festive attire.

Today, I realized we are way not on the same page…not.at.all.

Me: “we have a lot of nutcrackers.  Like a bajillion.” (It’s a word)

Wife: “we do have a lot.  Do you think we have too many?”

Me: {blink blink} “too…many…?”

Wife: “maybe?”

Me: {crickets}

Wife: “we’ll just get more…”

I may have married a stranger…

Rules for shopping.

I try really, REALLY hard not to lose my shit in crowds, specifically grocery store crowds.  More specifically, WalMart crowds. Therefore, I submit the following rules.

  1. Have a list, a plan, an idea of WHAT you are needing at WalMart.  Learn from my experience, if you go in without any of the aforementioned items…you will spend the house pay, car payment and quite possibly the children’s college fund on items you absolutely don’t need.  Ever.
  2. KNOW THE FLOOR PLAN.  You will save yourself and those around you if you know where you are going and you will not find yourself spinning in circles on the dog food aisle because you forgot light bulbs across the store. Not that this has happened to me.
  3. Have an escape plan.   For real. The stuff you need will always be at the back of the store.  Be ready to take shortcuts and corners quickly to maintain your sanity.
  4. If you have Xanax, take one.  If not, find a friend…that has some, borrow it.
  5. Have bail money and a friends phone number memorized, just in case.
  6. Understand the RIGHT OF WAY. This isn’t Europe, it’s f*cking WalMart…damn.
  7. Yield.to.the.aisle. Don’t be a dick, allow people to merge.  I promise, I am not trying to get the last can of pumpkin pie filling, you can act like a human…
  8. If you have two or more children and another adult in the household, DON’T bring the entire family to the grocery store.  Leave the 3.4 children, the grandmother, aunt, husband, cousin and great-Uncle at the house.  Take them to the park for a family outing.  Not the store.
  9. Don’t smell test all the body spray.  Well, maybe you, you smell a bit musty…it may be helpful.
  10. Put your cart up. Do not watch me attempt to pull into a spot only to cockblock me by putting your cart at the end of said parking spot. Because I hate you.

Let’s try to work together, mmmmkay?

Happy Thanksgiving…fa lala lala

Tiny reminders.

Earlier today, the wife e-mailed me and at the end of the email, there was one small word that reminded me of strength. 


There’s strength in togetherness.  It means you belong, that you aren’t n this crazy thing called life alone. 

I find strength in my wife, my children, my family, my friends and my job.  I find there is togetherness even in the smallest moments, or the smallest words.  


I’ve learned that two can be a together, so can three or four…as many as you need.   That when you are a together, each person supports the other, loves and shares. Together.  There is respect and joy. Honesty and integrity.  Without all of this, together doesn’t happen. 


When you think you are all alone, when you think that no one is in your corner, reach out to someone, don’t worry about if they have time, want to be bothered, there’s too much happening, you aren’t close or you’re afraid of being mocked, judged, teased or ignored. Take a chance, lean into a friend…trust yourself, trust them. 

Then you are in it, together. 

My love in blessings. 

I’m trying really hard to shake off some major bullshit in my life.  I’m finding that hate and hurt stick to a person just as much as love does.  I can’t shake a person who has hurt me to depths I can’t begin to reach. God knows, I pray for my own peace and healing now….I stopped praying for theirs when I realized they no longer returned the same to me and my psyche. 

I have decided, tonight, with the help another friend, that my life will turn around. I have people who I pushed aside that love me.  I have people in my life that hold me up.  These are my blessings.  

I have my health and a new way of viewing it and my continued journey to a smaller waist, lower blood pressure and higher energy. These are my blessings.  

I have my sweet family.  I can’t imagine my life being any sweeter than when I realize I am a daughter, mother, sister and a wife. These are my blessings. 

I have my job that challenges me, frustrates me, makes me laugh and makes me cry.  I have met people I enjoy seeing everyday and I’m proud of the job I do with such a team. These are my blessings.  

I have to stop giving into heartache.  I need to stop giving that negativity any power over me.  

I have to remember there is a lesson in the pain.  That I won’t trust like that ever again.  I will continue to hold the memories, the laughter, the secrets and the love deep somewhere that I can’t access it…where I don’t need it everyday.  I will gain strength from this lesson.  This is my blessing. 

And I will forgive. And love.   Everyday.

That is my biggest blessing.