Wanted: Common Decency

The holidays are hard on many different people for many different reasons. It’s not mine to judge, nor is it yours. I want one thing this year from folks, it costs nothing, it’s easy to come by and you don’t end up hurting someone else or in the long run, yourself.

I want common decency.

In a year that has seen the politicians and religious folks reign down all kinds of BS on us, to a year that has seen more hate, more derision, more discourse. A year that has folks alienating those dearest for desperately held opinions. A year that has honestly brought the absolute worst out in many of those I know and have held in high regard. I no longer think of many in the same positive light that I used to. This hurts me to my core.

I want common decency.

In a year that has seen the #metoo movement go from something protective and supportive of those hurt in unimaginable ways, to something that is incendiary and damaging without fairness. Not that anything about it has ever been fair for the person that has had their life destroyed, but it has certainly turned into something obscene and unjust. There’s no justice for someone who is telling the truth and there is no justice for someone accused of actions that may not have happened. We’ve become people who believe the worst thing said, without stepping back and giving people a chance. As a survivor, it hurts to see how people have taken this movement, this platform from survivors to use it for their own agendas.

I want common decency.

There are no winners in this day…we hurt each other, without thought to consequences. Without warning, without provocation, folks will hurl accusations at one another. Over BBQ’s, over swimming pools, over parking spots, all of it…nonsense.

We have taken the worst of humanity and elected it into powerful positions, we have legitimized the hate and the hurt. We have applauded bad manners, uneducated information and power hungry people who honestly don’t care about you or me. Or our needs.

When I say “we,” I mean ALL OF US. To some degree, we all are responsible for where we are. None of us are innocent in perpetuating the ill feelings, the hurt, the anger. We scream to rise up and resist, we scream things are great, we scream that it’s God’s law, martial law, anarchy, etc…

No one gets it.

Yes, resist what is unjust, resist what is hateful. Remember that as you resist, as you speak against it, you need to do so with love. Without love, your speech is no better than the person you are fighting against, because you are both fighting from hate.

Find passion in your beliefs, stand tall for your beliefs, but do it from a place of decency and love. Show folks that you are better than the hate, that you are better than the pettiness and the finger pointing. Just be better.

I want common decency.

Treat everyone like you wish to be treated, speak with respect and speak honesty. Don’t buy into the negativity, shower folks with smiles, with positivity. You want to win, prove you aren’t like every other screaming jerk with an agenda. Be the example. LEAD by example.

In the end, light always beats out the dark. Every time.

*steps off soapbox*

Basically, stop being an asshole.

There.

Just in time for the holidays.

So, it’s been a minute, hasn’t it? After allowing anything and everyone dictate my life for the last few, I’ve decided to knock the dust off this ol’ bloggy thing and emote.

Aren’t you the luckiest?

Let’s see…

Still gay.
Still a democrat.
Still a control freak, barely hanging on.
Still working at self care and love.
Still crazy, probably crazier.

However,

Stronger than I’ve ever been.
No longer dependent on anyone.
Smaller tribe, more quality.
Learned hard lessons. About me, about others.
Allowing myself to feel all the feels.
Peaceful, righteous, angry, sad.

Yep. I love writing, the creative stuff that goes on in my head. The joy I get from sharing my thoughts, my adventures. THE RULES. All of it. Not for any reason other than this saves me tons on therapy that I, probably, definitely, need.

I used to dream of writing a book, to see something bound and on a shelf. I got really close to it, to getting it all in one cohesive place. Then my life took a deep dive and I pushed it so far into the back of my mind, I can’t access it right now, so this will have to do. Maybe someday, somehow, I’ll get inspired, but now, I just opened this back up. Baby steps.

It’s coming up to the holidays. These days are alternately lovely and heartbreaking. I love the holidays, the joy I see, the energy in the air. The lights, the music, the goodwill we all seem to find. I miss my loved ones and drown myself in my memories. They make me smile, they make me cry. I’m going to be okay.

I’m in charge of me. Just me. We are all adults here. No one gets out of this experience alive and it’s up to each of us to live our best lives. If folks don’t want to share that with you, then you pray they live their best lives and experience love and joy each and every day.

Love out loud. Forgive daily. Yourself and others. As my father taught me, have no regrets, just lessons learned. And to love unconditionally.

That’s good emoting, right?

Go out, create joy, love and laughter. I wish this for each of you.