Treat her right. 

Folks tell me, or us, often that we are “so cute” in love…they ask what our secret is…

I’m gonna tell you, it takes work. A lot of work. And as long as both parties are doing the work, it…works. I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not the easiest person to love, hell, to even like..but I own my faults and do my best to be a better person; to be a person worthy of that love.  Some days I am, some days I prolly fall short. 

I read lots of articles about how to sustain a relationship or how to tell if they are the right one, the wrong one or if they are a psychopath. I’ve pondered on my own blog here how do you know if it’s The One.  Or someone else’s One…

…it’s a lot to ponder. 

So I decided to come up with a few hints that may or may not help you in your quest to find, keep or run from One. 

  • Never stop flirting with each other.  I’m the first to admit that I can take everything to a diiiirty level.  It’s a gift. And I love when she leers at me, winks or gives up some innuendo. There’s a rush to it and it is a small moment that should be light hearted and fun. 
  • Always let the other feel like the center of your world. This is harder. Especially when you have kids. Part of a parents “id” is that children come first.  In a sense, yes, because they need to be taught, to be supported and to be provided for…but here’s the rub….you have to make your other half be important because they are your partner, they are the ones right next to you. They will be the one to support you, protect you and provide for you…you have to return that favor. Before you can make anyone else important, you have to put each other first. You are a team. Never forget that. 
  • Take time, each day…to be with each other. My favorite time of the day is the end…when we shut down and slow down and just be in the same space…to talk and for us, laugh. 
  • Which brings me to my next hint. Laugh. A lot. Often. This woman makes me laugh to my toes.  It is essential to our relationship that we can laugh together and at each other. 
  • Understand that you will have bad days and respect that the other will as well.  Stay centered. Stay loving. Be there to listen and offer love, jokes and vodka. 
  • Sometimes you will lead, sometimes you will need to follow…always walk beside each other. 
  • Never take them for granted. This person puts up with you and all your “issues”…you need to appreciate that level of naïveté and embrace it. Don’t use it up, appreciate it. 
  • Honesty. It’s necessary. If you can’t be honest about everything then you haven’t found your One. 

I will give you a few hints that, if you come across them…run.like.hell.  

  • They choose to not meet you halfway. To let you do all the heavy lifting and allowing you to shoulder all the stress. This won’t change. 
  • If they try to create a divide amongst you and family, children or friends. These people are your support system…they will be there when ou run away from this shit head. 
  • If they can’t commit. This should be a no-brainer. Yes, the chase is fun…yes, it seems worth it. It’s not. Too much chasing, you just get tired. 
  • If they join Match.com or Yahoo Dating or basically any dating website while you are together….this is a dick move and just a shitty thing to do (side eye at the Beast, because she did this). 
  • Bathing.  Yes, it’s a necessity. Yes, there are those that don’t. There is no reason to date funky. 
  • Alternatively, don’t date someone that you don’t see the “real” person.  It goes back to honesty and if they aren’t showing you behind the curtain…there’s some issues. Run. 
  • If they want to spend alllll your money. Back to the work thing. I dated a person who wanted to work part time and be a “stay at home” mommy.  To my kids. Only this meant they wanted to work 20 hours a week and then come home and play video games. Yeah….dick move. 

Moral of the story….the story of “us”….love, laugh, share, enjoy. Remember respect, honesty and faith. It will work.

Here’s to your One….May that be as wonderful as mine.  May your life be as blissful as ours. 

Politics. Schmolitics. 

I’m having a horrible time wrapping my head around politics lately. I have friends on both sides of the aisle…I say this because I love all of you…

Many of you don’t walk in my shoes. And I love these differences. But you.don’t.walk.in.my.shoes.

Before you cast a ballot, or post something nasty about the other side, remember, we are friends. 

Before you call all gays welfare sucking, mooching, pedophiles that cause tsunamis, war, Ebola and earthquakes in Texas, remember, we are friends.  Oh, and I’m gay but none of that other stuff. 

Before you call all conservatives rabid, hateful, elitist that have caused the breakdown of common decency, fear mongering and war, remember, we are friends.  

I have seen more hate and fear posted in the name of God, family, love, the church and fellow believers.  Thing is…God isn’t about hate and fear. I also don’t think God gives two hoots about politics. And I am certain He doesn’t vote.  Ever.  Our job, on this rock, is to be good to each other, to learn, to teach and to love.  Period. 

I don’t know any politician that doesn’t have an agenda. Politics isn’t about the people any longer…it’s a career for these people. It’s a way to gain power.  Unnecessary power that is used against others to keep them down, power corrupts. Politicians lost the heart of what they do years ago…they forgot about the people they are supposed to protect. To serve. Politicians serve themselves and big corporations. Until everyone understands that, it won’t change. 

Take it back to student council elections….if Senators could promise softer toilet tissue or pizza on Tuesdays, then I’m all in…but stay out of my bedroom and out of my religion. 

I promise, my relationship hasn’t ruined yours, or your neighbors. It hasn’t led to famine, disease or war. There is nothing sadistic or dirty about it. 

If you say it’s wrong, that’s YOUR hang up. NOT MINE. 

if you throw religion at me about it, that’s YOUR hang up.  NOT MINE. 

My private life is NONE of your business. My private life is between me and one other person. It’s not yours to judge. It’s not yours to tear down, insult or mock. 

When I take my last breath, I will be judged, by God, not man. You won’t be worthy to judge me anymore than I am worthy of judging you. 

Let’s just love each other and embrace our differences. It makes the world a better place.  And isn’t that truly what we all want at the end of the day?

We have to get this message out…love is love.  Love is better than war. Love heals.  We have to heal, together…as citizens of this Earth we share.  We need to move together, as our hearts beat in a human symphony.

We, as humans, need to be better.

We, as citizens, deserve better than what we vote into office. 

Folks, be kind. Just love.